Now, I know that neither of these things may seem very "wonderful," but bear with me. Firstly, I must explain that I live at home, which has many downsides for a 27-yr old, but also many perks. Perks include: paying off the debt I accrued whilst obtaining two university degrees, allowing me to eke by on the poverty level wages that I earn from a job that required at least one of those degrees, having food in the fridge, living in a beautiful, nicely decorated home with a yard, having wicked parents that I call by their first names (makes 'em feel more like roommates), and getting notes like these from said parents/roommates:
(Okay, this probably needs some 'splaining. I had, ahem, a lady doctor appointment that day to talk about Mother Nature's lovely monthly gift to women. I had previously expressed strong concern and disappointment in being hurried through doctor's appointments, and being treated brisquely and with disinterest. This particular appointment had gone according to expectations, in that the doctor took the time to actually listen and answer questions...hence the note.)
Is it just me, or is this note particularly awesome? She could have said, "Glad the doctors appointment went well," or, she could have just left that part out altogether, but instead, regardless of who might see this note on the counter, she chose to use the words "gyno" and "attentive" in the same sentence. What a gem. This falls under the "shit my mom says" category for sure....
Secondly, next to the note, I had a stack of mail. Unless it's bills, mail is really exciting. The letter on top said,
"FIRST CLASS MAIL - OPEN IMMEDIATELY," and was from "Sheriff Services." So, my first thought was,
"we have sheriffs in Canada?"I thought they only existed in America or on Halloween. Turns out, we do have sheriffs, and they dole out jury duty. Still failing to see how this is wonderful? Ya, me too actually. I was really only excited about it for the first ten minutes, because I hadn't really thought it through. I watch all kinds of crime dramas on tv and feel as if I'm an expert when it comes to the legal system now (ignoring the fact that most of those crime/courtroom dramas are American, and therefore irrelevant to the proceedings that I would be a part of as a juror, and also ignoring the fact that I didn't even know we had sheriffs. But seriously, don't you picture a western movie or the American midwest when you hear "sheriff"?) so naturally, I thought I would excel as a juror.
I have since smartened up, as I have done some light research and discovered that jurors are only provided $20/day for the first 10 days of their duty. Oh, and coffee and tea....those are provided. Seriously?
So now I am on a quest to become an "undesirable candidate." My friend, Darla, suggested that it might actually be a great idea to talk about all the crime dramas I watch on tv:
"I've got this one in the bag. I watch Law and Order religiously and I can't wait to put him behind bars."
"Ms. Taylor, we haven't told you what the case is about yet."
"Doesn't matter, he's going down."I like this idea. Accepting other escape-jury-duty ideas, so feel free to make suggestions.
