To think, or not to think?

Sometimes I wonder why people worry so much about how they sound. About how their words are strung together, about how it sounds to be brilliant.

But this is my worry - my worry for myself, not for anyone else. I don't really wonder why "people" worry about this, I wonder why I worry about it. Starting a sentence is like jumping out of an airplane sometimes. I feel like it's never quite the right wording - I'm not certain where and how I will land, so I just stay in the doorway of the airplane with my typewriter laying silently on my lap. I consider whether or not I will bring the typewriter when I finally jump, but decide against it because I don't want anything impeding my ability to open the chute, nor do I want to lose the typewriter, obviously....
So maybe I'll stay on the plane and write about how I could have jumped, and how it might have felt. Or maybe I'll jump and hope that I don't break my arms so I can still type after I land - but that's not a valid worry, is it? No, there are dictiphones and scribes to do those sorts of things for me these days...


I just think too much. Thinking is great, don't get me wrong, I am a huge proponent of thinking. But too much thinking leads to inaction. I can think myself into and out of something ten or fifteen times, and then think myself around and above it too. All this in, out, around, above, through and across thinking and you'd think that I would be all thought out...or through, or above, in, or around, I suppose. But there is no end to thought, or at least there shouldn't be, because there is nothing around us that is certain. There is always something to learn or question or ponder. That is also why I should stop thinking so much - if nothing is ever certain, then there is no end to how much I could think, and therefore, no possibility of being able to "think something through". Maybe I just need to do. So, here I am. I am writing. I am doing.