What's really at the end of the rainbow and other lies exposed

 Remember those little lies that your parents told you to keep you innocent and naive and make you believe that the whole world was made of gumdrops and rainbow sparkle cupcakes? You know, like Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and you being really, really good at everything? Well hopefully you still believe in the latter, unless of course you're tone deaf and one of those people who continues to audition for talent competitions in the singing category, pay for voice lessons, and remain perplexed when you just aren't making it to Nashville...but I digress.

Do you remember the moment you stopped believing in Santa Claus? Personally, I was always a skeptic. My suspicions were confirmed early on by my grandmother, who ever-so-tactfully blurted out,

      "She doesn't still believe in Santa, does she? " to my shocked and infuriated mother, right in front of me at around age 6. I was unphased, although I gave an Oscar-worthy performance of "devastated" and "will likely need therapy later in life."  This only served to perpetuate what would come to be known as my "know-it-all" phase...which is on-going, btw. While other kids were peacefully dreaming of Santa landing on their roof, or the tooth fairy sprinkling them with sleep dust, I was plotting ways in which I could disprove their existence, so that the charade could be dropped. Come to think of it, I was kind of an asshole kid. I did the normal tests of course: I asked my parents a billion questions so they would have to provide some sort of semi-logical explanation for the wonderment of money appearing under my pillow when I placed a tooth under there, or how Santa managed to get presents under our tree when we didn't have a chimney. I wasn't placated by their answers, however, regardless of how creative they were. I believe my dad made the mistake of telling me that the tooth fairy just "knew" when to retrieve the tooth and pay up. Rookie move on his part; so, naturally, I had to test it. I recall having an every-so-slightly loose tooth, one that no-one would have expected or suspected of falling out for a while. That tooth didn't see what hit it - I gave it hell right before bed one night and slyly placed it under my pillow.

The next morning, no dough, just as I suspected.

Did I get up and tell my parents about the great injustice I had endured at the hands of the so-called "tooth fairy" and demand answers or sympathy? No, I was an asshole, remember? I didn't tell them, but I held them in silent and (to them) perplexing contempt, brooding and huffing and puffing for days, making outrageous claims, such as having never experienced a good day in my whole life...at 5. Worse than telling them the gig was up, I made them continue the charade, made them really work for the tooth fairy/ Santa Claus street cred for years to come. Sorry, mom and dad.

So here's what's really at the end of the rainbow:



End of the Rainbow



Rural America? Grain silos? Well, who knew? Maybe not the pot o' gold you were hoping for; but, technically, wheat is "Saskatchewan gold."