Do you hate your job? Are you under stimulated and underpaid? Don't be predictable with your time-wasting by spending countless hours on facebook, creeping on your ex's status updates and looking at older, skinnier pictures of yourself, when you could be doing this:
1) Reading the news. Knowledge is power, so make sure that you're up to snuff on your current events. Be careful not to waste your time on slanted and biased rags such as CNN and The Globe and Mail, though. You can really never believe what you read in those sensationalist rants. I highly recommend visiting http://www.theonion.com/ for a reputable and credible source of a broad range in breaking news. For example, polls have suggested that Obama may, in fact, be a cactus. Who knew? Don't be in the dark any longer...
2) Googling yourself. Knowledge is power, and self-awareness is empowering, so you should get to know your Internet self.
*Disclaimer* - this may not take up too much of your time, depending on how accessible you are to the world wide web, so don't rely on this as a primary time-waster, and don't use this as a popularity gage because you may be disappointed. (On the other hand, though, if you get lots of hits, go ahead and use that as a gage for not only your popularity, but your importance as a human being, as well as your all around awesomeness.)
3) Writing letters. I don't mean the obligatory type, like to Aunt Millie, asking how her hip is healing and how many cats she has these days, I mean the kind where you respond exactly the way you would if you had no social filter whatsoever, and, therefore, no concern for how the recipient will react.
So your boss emails you and he's all, "You know that spreadsheet that I asked you to make 20 minutes ago that tracked our expenditure and calculated all kinds of crazy stuff, dating back to the start up the company 6 years ago? Yaa, is that ready yet?" Which can be translated into him barely understanding how to open the spreadsheet, let alone read and understand it, since he obviously has no concept of what it takes to produce it....which is a perfect moment for you to respond using the succinctness of the written word:
"Dear shitiot (this is a shitty idiot),
It's been twenty minutes, so OF COURSE I have that spreadsheet that you asked me for out of nowhere when I was already elbow deep in other shit for your stupid company that you don't know how to run. It was a snap, thanks to all the speed-reading and wizardry I've been mastering over the years. To the normal human, going through six years of poorly-documented accounting for a company they've just started at and recording it into a database so that it can be graphed and analyzed might take longer; but, I take Gingko biloba daily and am a really positive person, which I'm told helps get the job done right, so I finished early.
Just so you know, the part of the spreadsheet that says "I'm drunk" was just a computer error, Excel sometimes does that. I didn't type that, because it's 9:30 and I don't start drinking until at least 11.
Here's the spreadsheet, let me know what you think!
- Leigh :) "
(I don't actually drink at work, but I really am (basically) a wizard.)
For great examples of how to do this, you should visit David Thorne's blog (that should also take up a block of time, it's a goodie) to see how he responds to everything from permission slips from his son's school, to noise complaints from his landlord.
http://www.27bslash6.com/ unreal.
Now, I'm not suggested you SEND these letters, but writing them wastes a lot of time, is therapeutic, and is worth a few laughs.
4) Keeping hydrated. *Hiccough*.
It's after 11 now and I'm pretty sure it's 5 o'clock somewhere. You see where I'm going with this...
Okay so those a just a few ways to occupy yourself in the workplace. Get back to work...?
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